WOMENS RIGHT IN SA - WHAT RIGHTS??????????

Let me tell you, I am absolutely floored. With all the hype and media attention going on and on about Women’s and children’s rights, our country is no more educated or equipped to deal with these issues.

I am a single mother of two children. Last week on the 14th April 2010, my maintenance was DECREASED, yes I do mean decreased from R2000.00 to R250.00, by our judicial system, a WOMAN judge to top it all. My ex husband was given six months to prove that he could no longer pay the R2000.00 he has been paying for the past two years, even though he owns two properties, an apartment in Holland, the Netherlands where he currently resides, and a house on the Bluff, Durban SA where his wife currently resides. Our daughter is an uncontrolled epileptic, who often is admitted to hospital.

However I am not permitted to put her on my medical aid, but have to keep her on her Fathers medical aid, which is not recognised in SA, but because he has paid a retainer to Entabeni hospital in the region of R10 000.00 he is allowed to keep her on his medical aid. He also receives a subsidy of 80% from his place of employment for her medical expenses. He receives an 80% subsidy for her educational costs and an allowance of EUROS 137.00 for her monthly maintenance. I have had to take on a second job as a barlady in order to provide for my children. I find it absolutely ludicrous, that we spend millions of rands on media reports etc etc, the government goes on and on about what it is doing for its women and children, yet those laws have not yet filtered down into our courts. There is no where for a single mother to turn for help today.

I have tried every single avenue available and there are not many to secure financial support for my children. In desperation I retained a lawyer thinking if I had the law on my side, victory would surely be mine. However I have now been presented with a bill of approx R8000.00 for her fees, and I am down by R1750.00. Isn’t life just smashing. I am horrified, and so bitterly disillusioned by our judicial system, that I actually sympathise with the gentleman who committed suicide because he could not obtain his ID book. I know his frustration, anger and helplessness, and there is absolutely nothing anyone will or can do to help. NOTHING.

Fathers all over the country sire children and then slough them off like a piece of used skin, no longer wanted or needed. For all the governments parading, they have done absolutely nothing to help women and children. My opinion, this country is going down the toilet, and I will at the first opportunity I have get out of SA. In the meantime my children and I will battle along, but I will provide as I always have and one day when my children want nothing to do with their father, please don’t always blame the “ex” wives. Men like this bring this on this themselves, and will die very lonely old men, while I will have my children and their children by my side, loving me because I will give my life before I allow my children to hurt. I think it is time us single mothers formed a forum, and pushed forward for change within our magistrates courts and the judicial system. We should also insist that a group of lawyers be appointed solely, for these types of matters.

Fees based on the mothers income, and should the fathers be found negligent or capable of paying more than they insist they can, these fees should be for the account of the father. Come on ladies, together we stand united, and can make a change. Unless something is done the lives of single mothers and children will be deteriorating and we will become just another statistic, if we arent already.